Wednesday, June 15, 2016

I'm Actually Not a Writer...

I've actually never considered myself a "writer". I mean, I learned how to do cursive and print when I was about 4, so technically I've been writing for almost 30 years. But when people ask me what I "do", I don't say "I'm a writer".  You see, writing is one of my stages where I tell my story, or a story. Let me share with you a little bit about how that revelation came about. 

October 31, 2015 A few people from the worship team, including my husband, were informed that a good friend of our church, Mark Hendrickson was hosting a worship leader seminar up at this church. 

I, of course, assumed that my husband who was on the worship team would be attending with a few other worshipers from our church. But when my husband said I should go, I dug my heels in. 
Not because I'm stubborn, but because being authentic is at my core.  How in the world can I, somebody who has no experience whatsoever, justify filling a seat at a worship seminar??  
After much cajoling from my husband, I reluctantly accepted the invitation, still wondering what people were going to think when I told them I played the air guitar and sang the shower. 

About 7 of us (including my 6 month old baby) rode up in our pastor's Expedition on a beautiful sunny Saturday. There was excitement in the air as hipster men and boho women from all age groups filed into the mission style church.

 I'm not really sure what I'm doing here...I feel like such a poser...just lay low. 

Anxiety rose as people in the sanctuary took turns introducing themselves, the spotlight closing in on me.

I'm Andy...I am on the worship team at ___church, and I've been playing guitar since I was a little boy, and I'm here to learn how to effectively lead people into worshiping God. 
...I play the drums...I've never remembered a time when I wasn't singing...

I reviewed my intro one more time, just to make sure it was sufficient to excuse my lack of musical knowledge, enabling people to quickly understand my blunders and move on. Hi, I'm Katherine...I don't play any instruments, I'm not a singer- actually, I'm not even on the worship team, my husband and Pastor thought it would be good for me to come...I homeschool, and go to the gym, and when I'm not handing out orders to my 3  young children I write on my blog, draw and distress furniture...and I want to act and dance ...and I'm sorry if I took up a seat that would otherwise be filled by somebody who belongs here...okay, that's all. 

I don't actually remember if I said that, but the day quickly proved me wrong. 

My ears perked up as one of the facilitators of the conference began to talk about giftings beyond singing and playing instruments. I thought Hey! I want to paint! I want to write! I want to dance! 
I had heard it in small circles of believers, but to hear my passions and desires be validated in a church environment was so encouraging. I had always considered my passions to be a form of worship, but I had heard so few places validate it's purpose in the church, much less operate in it.
The Lord had my spiritual wheels turning, and I began to write:

"What is a worship leader? Well, simply put, it is somebody who leads somebody into worship. To worship is to drench the Lord with the love of your whole self; to say 'You are amazing!' To lead people into that is to say 'Hey, come over here! Look at how amazing God is! Come and add to this love for him!'

While there is something special indeed about music and the voice, leading people into worship is anything that points to the glory and splendor of our King. We are all worship leaders in a sense. Some are painters, sketchers, creators, and story-tellers..."



 Reflecting on this, I began to think more and more about what God wanted to do with my giftings. I knew he had done amazing things in my life, and I wanted other people to see that they could experience His love too. But how was I going to express this? 
Like many creative people, I seemed to have a billion ideas sprouting up, but lacked the follow through to make them happen. My creative fantasies were composed of movies, books, commercials, drawings, decorations, dance choreography or skits. Why was I so unfocused? Why couldn't I just be one? I picked up my pen to solve the mystery. 

"Am I a writer? Am I a drawer? An artist? A dancer? A film maker? 
As I acknowledged each desire with a 'yes', there was still something pulsing underneath, something that was stronger than the talents. 
And this is what I found: at the core, I am a StoryTeller. 
The poems, the books, the dance floor are all stages where my story is played.
You see, we all have a story. Our life stories have different settings, characters, and conflicts; each one unique in how it tells of the Father's love. He wants us to tell these stories. 'Tell them about My love for them' 
Some of us, the theme of our stories is forgiveness. Some carry truth. Some carry compassion. But they are all worth telling."

I felt a release as the truth hit me- I didn't have to be one, because they all were different avenues to what the Lord was trying to do. I was free to operate in any of them as the Holy Spirit saw fit. 

In the following months, I turned my ear to hear what the Lord actually made me for. One of the most helpful tools I found was a video from Danny Silk's Defining the Relationship series (I will post it at bottom of post). He basically takes the class through a simple exercise of fine tuning what your created purpose was. This was mine:

So, do you see why I am not a "writer"? I write. I dance. I draw things. But these activities are not a means to themselves, they tell a story to reveal the Father's love to people who need to hear it.  
I am still discovering what theme God has placed on my life, but I would like to know what YOUR life theme is? What elements of God's love seem to continually draw you into Him? Which ones make you want to tell the world about Him? 

Perhaps you don't consider yourself a writer, but I bet you have a story to tell. I just joined a group of writers in the San Diego, CA area, and they are having monthly conferences. The next conference starts July 7th. You can register at  www.citadelsandiego.church 
  Here is a flyer:
I hope this post has challenged your perceptions of what a writer is, and challenged you to pick up your pen or laptop and begin writing your story. :)
I would love to hear about the role writing has in your life, or your story, and please post your "Danny Silk life purpose" in the FB comments if you watch it! :) 



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